Dear Lillian on your 4th Birthday

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I can barely mutter the words I have a four year old daughter without tearing up. You’ve really blossomed this year and it’s been amazing to watch you grow from a timid toddler hiding behind my leg to a little girl thriving and loving life.

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For your birthday this year, you asked to go to the beach. Since Nanas can make dreams happen, we got to go as a family.

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One thing I’ve noticed about you in the past few months is your desire to find a friend everywhere you go. I hope you never lose that quality. It doesn’t matter the gender or the color of their skin, you play with them. Your kind spirit is contagious and I never see you being rude to them. In fact, I’ve seen other kids be rude to you and you tell them they weren’t being nice, but you continue to play with them. It blows my mind that you realize at 4 that kindness matters.

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As an adult, I often struggle to find friendships that are genuine. I am guilty of being the friend that neglects to check in on people, but I put an honest effort into my relationships. Sometimes I wish adult relationships were more like kids. Organic. Natural. Easy. A relationship where class, status, benefits and employment do not factor into whether someone wants to hang out. They just play.

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I’m often awestruck when I look at you. How did I get the good kid? You have your moments where things aren’t so peachy and you do like to constantly be entertained, but I got the good kid. I got the kind-hearted, loving, gentle-spirited child that would be the one to notice the shy girl sitting alone in the lunchroom (aka: me as a kid). You are everything I wished I was as a child.

 

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You’re creative. You’re really good at dance and seem to really love it. You want to start playing soccer in the spring. I really don’t think there’s one thing you cannot do. Well, except for keeping your room clean.

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Everyday, when you wake up and come in my bedroom to see if it’s morning time, I realize how lucky I am to be your mother. Sometimes I think to myself, “I can’t believe God chose me to be your mom.” I hope you realize how deeply, deeply loved you are by me and so many people. I hope you know how many lives you’ve touched with your gentle spirit.

xoxo

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