Giving grace on the bad days


I read in a Christian book a while ago about the challenges in the first year of marriage. Most people that are dating spend their “bad days” separately. Who wants to hang out when they’re having an awful day? Not me. I want to retreat to my bed and binge watch Netflix.

When you’re married, there is no separation. You’re spending those bad days together under one roof. That’s when you really start to see a different side of your spouse. It’s not always a pretty side (my husband got to witness my lack of housekeeping and laundry skills). You see how they handle certain situations and how they treat you during their bad days.

I didn’t live with my husband before we were married. In fact, we dated long distance for the majority of our dating period, so when we did see each other, it’s was short spurts on a weekend and we were both so happy to be together. Then we were married and living under one roof. Things weren’t always “Happily Ever After” for us. We butted heads a lot…mostly on silly things.

I’m not an expert on marriage, but I can tell you I spent that first year really getting to know the person I was married to and it was a challenge. One thing I’ve learned is to give grace on the bad days. (And sometimes life happens and it’s more like bad weeks or bad months). Scripture says:

 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” (Matthew 5:7)

I started to notice a shift in my marriage. The more stressed at work my husband got (which increased with every promotion he got), the more grace I extended to him. Instead of lashing out at him because he was too exhausted to spend time with me, I started to try to understand his frustrations and listen to what was going on with him.

Then something happened. When my bad days came, he would listen to me complain or he would take the initiative to help me around the house. See? When you give mercy, you’ll receive mercy.

During your first year of marriage, you’ll face hard times like everyone does. You’re combining two lives into one, so there will be some butting of heads until you figure out a flow that works for both people (like how to load a dishwasher or how to properly fold towels). Just remember to extend grace to your spouse on those bad days.


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Augusta, Georgia invitation designer. Serving the Augusta area and worldwide, specializing in create customized rustic wedding invitations and special event invitations. Printable resources for the DIY available.