God hears our small prayers

Dear Lillian,

1st day of preschool! She LOVED it. 😆

A photo posted by Ashley DeYoung (@ashleydeyo) on

With the start of your new school year (preschool K3!), my mind wandered back to my first few days of high school. I had a sudden flashback of me standing beside my mom’s car in the driveway and throwing up before school.

My parents moved in the middle of my 8th grade year, so when it was time to go to high school, I was zoned for a different school than all of my friends. Entering as a freshmen with zero friends makes for a nerve-racking first day of school, especially during lunch. There were small round tables which seated eight teens and restaurant-style booths that seated four teens. In middle school, we were forced to sit with our class at a long lunchroom table. There was no other option. If you had no friends in your class, it didn’t matter, you still sat at that one table and you didn’t stand out like a sore thumb.

High school was different. There was a lunch period. An entire period dedicated to eating and socializing. These smaller tables made it severely obvious that I in fact had zero friends. It was as if a spotlight was shining down on me saying, “Hey everyone, new girl. She’s a loser.” I panicked the first full day of school.

Pray small prayers

I grabbed my lunch box and told the lunch room attendants I had to use the restroom. There I sat, in a bathroom stall, praying no teacher would walk in as I ate my lunch while sitting on the toilet. Disgusting, I know. But I was desperate. Desperate to not be made fun of or singled out for being introverted. I stared at the second hand on my watch for what seemed like hours until the lunch bell rang and it was time to go to my next class.

My 2nd full day of high school started off with me vomiting in the driveway. The thought of eating on the toilet again made me nauseous. My anxiety was flying high and my mom thought I had a stomach bug, so I stayed home. I remember thinking, “How many days can I play out this stomach bug thing before she realizes I’m not sick?” I prayed and prayed for a miracle…“God if you can hear me, send me a friend. Please let me know SOMEONE in the lunchroom. Let someone invite me to eat with them.”

mean-girls-cafeteria-scene

The 3rd day rolled around and my mom made me go back to school. I looked for someone that would give me a chance, but everyone seemed connected with each other and I felt like an outsider. With my heart racing, I walked to the lunch room alone. It was like the scene from Mean Girls where Cady is handed the seating chart with the jocks, the preps, desperate wannabes, etc. I was overwhelmed and confused.

God hears small prayers

In an attempt to waste time, I tried to be the last in line for a drink and then spent an additional 10 minutes at the vending machines pretending that I couldn’t decide on snack. Again praying, “Please God, help me! I’m going to vomit again and this time in front of these people. Please show me someone that I can sit with during lunch!”

As I reached down to grab my Kit Kat bar from the slot, I turned around and recognized a girl from middle school that I was introduced to towards the end of my 8th grade year. (Coincidence? I think not.) I had no idea she would be at my high school. I screamed…”Mallika!” She looked up as I ran toward her and insisted she accompany me during lunch. I’m so grateful for that moment. A moment that showed me God heard my tiny prayer as a young girl. I remember my faith being weak during this time. I thought God only answered big, grownup prayers that my parents prayed. I was proven wrong that day.

Lillian, I want you to know that God hears you. He hears your cries. He listens and answers prayers when he feels he should. Don’t ever think your prayer is too small or you’re too young to cry out to him in times of need. It seemed like such a small prayer when I was praying it, but looking back, I realize how those tiny moments shape us. Our friendships impact our decision-making and paths we take. I could have easily gotten involved with the wrong crowd, but God was faithful and protected me when I called on him.

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Augusta, Georgia invitation designer. Serving the Augusta area and worldwide, specializing in create customized rustic wedding invitations and special event invitations. Printable resources for the DIY available.